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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 12, Episode 7
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the seventh episode of the twelfth series. Key * HD – Hugh Dennis * SF – Stewart Francis * RB – Rob Beckett * AP – Andy Parsons * KR – Katherine Ryan * EB – Ed Byrne Topics Extracts From DVDs That Would Never Sell AP - 'Welcome to ''Exercise For Manic Depressives. Down. Up. Down. Up. '''HD - Welcome to this "How To Use A DVD" Instruction DVD. First, put this DVD in the slot for the DVD. EB - Steven Spielberg's Circumcision: The Director's Cut. RB - Welcome to The Suffragette Story with me, Miley Cyrus. KR - (as Johnny Depp) Ready to get fit, ladies? It's Johnny Depp, Pilates of the Caribbean. HD - The main point of this self-help DVD is that only you can help you. No need for me then, thanks for the 20 quid. SF - Hello. Welcome to Funeral Etiquette. When's the right time to fart? RB - We are in Africa filming the continent's biggest predator. Madonna in Malawi. HD - (German accent) Welcome to The Best Of German Who Do You Think You Are? So, your grandfather was a... okay we'll leave it there. EB - Welcome to The Best Of Test Match Special. (imitates lighting a match) That one works! AP - This is the DVD you've been waiting for: All the tweets of Alan Sugar read out loud by Stephen Hawking! HD - Welcome to Filthy Dirty Nurses 2: The Rise of MRSA. EB - Hello, I'm Ed Byrne. Welcome to Wank Yourself Skinny. KR - Work yourself thin, with me, teen sensation Stewart Francis! AP - It's the DVD we've all been waiting for: 2 politicians discussing Rwanda! Unlikely Things To Hear On A Motoring Programme HD - Listen to that deep throaty roar of the man I've just run over. SF - George Michael says he's never driven a car that's handled so well on the pavement. EB - Now I would describe this car as being very nippy, but apparently I'm not allowed to say that. I have to say it's made in Japan. AP - I'm about to shag a bloke. Welcome to Ride My Pimp. KR - Women everywhere have come together to announce their favourite car. It's... the red one. AP - This car has a fail-safe anti-theft device. It's a Vauxhall Corsa. HD - First, second, third, fourth. Yes, all my wives have divorced me because I'm such a twat about cars. RB - It's just a car innit, who gives a shit? *'KR': Thank you. KR - This car is actually owned by Jeremy Clarkson, which is why I'm running my key along it now. EB - My first impression is that the dashboard layout is actually quite unorthodox and very minimalist. There doesn't seem to be a steering...uh...I'm sitting at the back. SF - (sniffs) Ahh... it still has that new hitchhiker smell. AP - I don't know about you, but I think it'll be quite nice to walk today! RB - The sales have been surprisingly low for the new Renault Bellend. AP - This car has been modified for the American market. It's got 6 cup holders, a sandwich stand and a small rotisserie attached to the dashboard. EB - This week on Top Gear, we're going to be talking about some penises... cars! We're talking about cars! Cars! No! Cars! HD - This car's personalised management system remembers who you are and how you drive. This morning it locked me out and told me to fuck off. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See